I just returned from church yesterday when he came to my room.
It was in the darkness of night.
I couldn’t see him but I knew his watchful eyes saw into my soul.
I held my phone with two hands as I swiped and scrolled through stories after stories on the internet.
Then I saw it. Or rather, he showed it to me.
‘Top celebrity flaunts massive cleavage in new hot photos’.
The caption stood out bold and inviting.
I cast my eyes over the link and tried to read the next news but he whispered to me to click and see.
‘It is not a sin to read news’.
He reasoned with me, bringing many reasons until I realized he was right.
‘I can read the news and not look too much at the cleavage’.
So I opened the link and saw the picture and the comments on it.
Below the news was a link that promised to redirect the reader to a website that contained more revealing pictures.
I was in the house already. The room of sin was very near but I couldn’t see it.
He drew nearer to me and suggested I visit the website to see what they meant by ‘revealing pictures’.
My heartbeat raced and I felt something within me trying to hold me back.
A certain nudge kept eating at me to cease and desist but like it did the cat, it seemed curiousity had made it’s mind up to kill me.
He kept on convincing me to click it and see. He said it won’t hurt. He said afterall, if I get to the site and find it offensive, I could easily leave.
I reckoned this to be true.
‘Nothing binds my hand to my back. No one prevents me from clicking ”Exit”.’ I thought.
So I clicked the link and it opened withing a seconds, throwing me into an abyss of soft nudity and sexually-provoking pictures.
I saw many pictures the celebrity took with various vain men who wore nothing but tight shorts.
Her pants was the only piece of clothing on her body and her hands served as covers for her breasts.
I realized I was on the boundary of lust but I kept looking, scrolling down to other more shocking pictures.
I shook my head and wondered aloud how someone would pose for pictures that way.
In my hypocrisy, I even hissed as I scrolled down to view more revealing pictures.
‘This world is coming to an end!’ I muttered, still deceiving myself.
I knew I should leave the site but I didn’t.
I told myself I just wanted to see the height of moral decadence in the society.
Just then, an icon popped up.
‘See what these college students were caught doing (Video)’, the icon read.
The voice that tried to hold me back before was now so low and weak.
All I could perceive in my heart was my brain telling me, out of habit, to remember Joseph.
But emotion is stronger than knowledge, isn’t it?
I realized I was almost lost in lust and that I was inches away from the death of myself but it didn’t stop me.
The same dark and compelling voice drew nearer and urged me on.
He didn’t have to convince me repeatedly this time.
I pressed ‘OK’ and another page opened.
‘Not for viewers under 18’, the page displayed.
‘Well, I am over 18’, I said as I waited.
‘What are you doing, Victor?’, a part of me revolted.
The video loaded for a while and I saw what the two college students were doing.
My body saw it too.
My heart raced as pleasure coursed through my body.
But it was bitter.
A certain darkness was behind it.
Halfway through the video clip, I knew things had changed.
I was lost.
Something was broken in me.
At that moment, my phone rang.
The sudden loud ringtone of ‘Rock of Ages’ hymn brought me back to earth.
‘Rock of ages’.
There was I, lost in the clasp of sin, sucking in the bittersweet pleasure of lust, selling my soul for satisfaction, and my phone still beckoned.
It was a flash as the phone ring stopped just as it started.
‘…Let me hide myself in thee…’ was what I heard before silence fell on my room once again.
The phone returned itself to the video and at that moment, I stared at the screen and saw what I was watching and secretly enjoying.
I realized my folly and quickly closed the page and threw the phone on the table beside me.
But the deed was done.
The heart was polluted, my body defiled.
The devil visited, whispered to me, tempted me and I yielded.
I fell so easily like a pack of cards.
I shattered the grace of God.
It seemed someone laughed in the corner of the room but when I turned to look, I saw no one.
Though he wore no cape neither were there fangs and horns, I knew he was the devil himself.
But even he was silent now.
He has got what he wanted.
I closed my eyes and replayed the last five minutes.
Within five minutes I had bargained with the devil.
I had sold him my soul in exchange for the pleasure of sin.
I had removed my name from the book of life.
Within five minutes, I had crossed from the narrow way and joined the multitude on the broad way of sin.
I tried to pray but my lips were shut.
I tried to cry but my throat was dry.
So I kneeled there, bowed my hand and sand the words of the hymn again.
‘Rock of ages, cleft for me…’ I sang over and over again.
The tears only came when I sang,
‘…Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling.’
‘… Naked, come to thee for dress. Helpless to thee come for grace.’
‘… Foul, I to the moutain fly; wash me saviour or I die.’
I cried to God and wept as I climbed to the words of the song for comfort.
‘…could my tears forever flow, all for sin could not atone; thou must save, and thou alone.’
I was grateful to whoever wrote those words.
For when my words failed me, the song saved me.
I just sat there, beside my bed, with my phone, the instrument of sin, some distance away and cried for God to take me back.
I knew I had done that which was forbidden.
I knew I had allowed myself to be soiled and polluted.
I realized then I had disappointed the host of heaven and disobeyed the Creator but there was no where else for me to go.
I had nothing else to do than ask for forgiveness.
I cried and pleaded with God to take me back.
I sang songs after songs, pouring my heart out to the Lord, asking him to have mercy on me once again.
I told him it was a mistake, that I was wrong and that I was so sorry.
I told him to forgive me and wash me once again.
And He did.
For in my deep sorrow and grief, I felt my burden lifted.
My peace returned and a certain assurance filled my heart again.
I was so grateful.
I cried yet again; not for sorrow but gratitude.
I was grateful for the forgiveness I’ve received.
I bowed my head to the ground and worshipped God for taking me back.
After all was done, I picked up my phone again.
I went to the ‘Settings’ and cleared my browsing history.
If God had forgiven me, I needed no reminder of my error.
Having done that, I rested my back against my pillow and typed this.
To warn friends and fellow Christians about the danger of accessible Internet.
I tell my story, baring it all, to make believers aware of the silent whispers of the enemy.
He comes today in the clothing of News outlets and Interesting pages.
Social media has brought it all to our fingers.
My only hope is that whoever reads this post, thinking he stands, let him take heed lest he falls.
Let us beware of the devices of the devil before he steals our salvation, kills our soul, destroys our lives.
Internet is a useful tool to make us better but it is also an effective weapon in the hands of the devil.
Don’t use your own money, your own phone, your own fingers and your own eyes to damn your own soul.
And if you are lost already, return to God today and ask to be forgiven. He is willing to cleanse you once again.
Let us watch.
‘Five Minutes to Death’
Although this is a fiction, it is as real as it can be. Stories abound of people who have been lost. My only prayer is may they read this and find their way back.
Please share until everyone hears.
I just returned from church yesterday when he came to my room.