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Second Choices

Sometimes, marriages and relationships are like the JAMB admission process. 

You apply for Medicine in the University of Ibadan but then, you gain admission to study Wood Technology Education in Osun College of Education, Ila Orangun.

The sister you thought would marry you shouted a resounding NO into your ears and you find yourself now considering the people you once laughed at when someone suggested you marry them. 

The brother you had blocked on Facebook and WhatsApp because of his incessant marriage proposals now becomes desirable and you begin to ponder ‘just settling down with him’. 

The issue now reflects the saying, ‘When the desirable is unavailable, the available becomes very desirable’.

You begin to lower your once high standards little by little.

As each year passes, you become a little bit more desperate about your situation and you begin to broaden your search horizon.

You that said you can only marry a Yoruba man now change your mind to any tribe from the ‘South of Nigeria.’

Your preference for a ‘tall dark Christian guy’ soon becomes ‘a Christian guy’ as you remove one characteristic after the other.

The man who had always maintained he must marry a lady with figure 8 now begins to consider his figure 1 coworker.

‘She must have a deep dimple in her cheeks whenever she smiles’- This thought you had before is quickly discarded and you just hope she has a cheek at all.

While this writer will always advise people not to ‘Manage’ anyone they wish to spend the remaining over fifty years of their lives with, I must also point out some things.

Your Second Choice is sometimes, God’s Choice. 

Many of us applied for courses in the University we could not do; not because of our academic strength but because of our dislikes and interests.

I applied for Medicine while writing The erstwhile UME and I was admitted for Microbiology.

The very next year, I had the chance to pursue the Medicine in a State University but I didn’t pursue the admission.

Three years later, I had the opportunity to study the same Medicine outside the country but I turned it down. 

Why the change? You might ask. 

It was a simple choice.

You see, I was always a sympathetic guy. I can cry for another man in suffering and pain and it is a trait I took from my mother.

And this trait also made me decide to become a Doctor so as to save a few lives I could.

But the funny thing is that I can NOT stand the sight of blood and wounds.

Till now, I literally turn away my face anytime I see blood or a wound on anyone.

And I also know of a Medical Doctor who told me he always feel faint during surgical procedures.

He has had to be excused and led out of the theater in a couple of occasions.

And I am not alone in this.

Many of us eventually find ourselves in the most interesting field to us as a result of the change in career done by Universities.

And looking back now, we cannot imagine our lives studying something else.

We have grown to so much love the new course and become so good at it that we always look back and thank God we didn’t get our first choice of course.

And who says this cannot happen in marital choice too?

I know a man who was rejected by a lady for one good reason or the other and he was forced to accept she wasn’t  his when she married another.

This my man is now married today and when he talks happily about his wife, I just smile and wonder if he had forgotten the sister was not his first choice.

But he didn’t forget. 

He is just thankful that he didn’t get the first choice because the second choice turned out to be the best choice and he can’t ever imagine his life without her.

Life is a very interesting adventure.

The single fact that we cannot see the future or know what might have been has made such a beautiful story that no one can or should ever give up.

Who knows what might happen?

So,

As you make your choice and shoot your shot, don’t forget that this first choice of yours may not turn out to be the final choice.

And if you get rejected by the first choice, pick yourself back up and look around again.


And please, remove all these flimsy characteristics and dreamy preferences and prioritize what really matters.


Also, let no one manage another person for marriage.


It is good to get your first choice and marry your first love; but as life has taught us, not getting your most preferred choice can be a springboard into God’s own choice and the best choice that leads you to a glorious future and a beautiful life.


Look Alive! 

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-#VJW

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