1. Yes, it is good; we should be married before we are 30. But if it does not happen, no need to get sad; there is absolutely nothing abnormal about it. Life goes on. Marriage is not a do-or-die affair! Most persons, be it male or female, marry after 30. It is in the olden days that people marry at a very young age, life has become more complicated now. For example, we now consider genotype before marrige. Hurrying only makes you more likely to make mistakes; and that, you don’t want to do.
So, stay cool, live and enjoy your life. The wife will come. The husband will arrive.
2. The saying, ‘Accept and love me the way I am’ and many other similar quotes about loving people with their imperfections do not work in reality. Most of them were said by men who never want to get better.
Look, if you have a long nose like me, you can say that. And if it is your skin colour, height, tribe, family or some other physical things you can’t change, I can agree with you.
But when you have a bad attitude or some characters that make you unattractive and yet, you are saying someone should love you the way you are. Abeg go and change and repair yourself first.
They may believe and tell you they love you even with the bad attitude right now, but when you get married, it is that same attitude that will build a bridge between the two of you and eventually scatter the marriage.
So, even though it is hard, I believe we can all change any bad traits that we find in our lives before getting married.
3. It is not as they told us. During our final year in school, we were told we will soon get married. That during NYSC, our wives and husbands will show. That almost immediately after NYSC, our weddings will hold. But, I’m sorry, it is not so. We are still here. It is now clear. There are a long list of things you still have to put in place in preparation for your spouse; and I’m not just talking about job.
So get it settled in your mind, what they told us in those seminars are not always true. In fact, they seldom happen. Just be at your own speed, run your own race. Sooner or later, you too will settle down.
4. That you are sure someone is the will of God for you in marriage doesn’t really mean you will end up with him/her. Even though God never makes mistakes, and His words never change, because this has to do with your fellow human, there might be complications. He may say NO, she may disagree, even when you are cocksure.
We, as humans have different orientations, we have limitations, we have our own desire and will; and when you are against someone’s will. Even though God told him/her to marry you, he may choose to follow his own will, she may choose to make her own choice rather than bending to God’s will. Examples abound even in the scriptures.
So, even when you are sure she is God’s will, do things in order, follow the right steps, don’t jump the gun. Don’t do to her what you will do to your wife; not yet.
5. Most christian ladies are goodlooking nowadays, the men are now dressing well. I can’t see any reason why you will say you are a Christian and still look outside God’s people when choosing a life partner. Things have changed from the old days when christian brothers wear funny trousers and hang wide long ties. Days when sisters do not pay the slightest attention to their appearance. Go to any church, any church at all, you will find beautiful ladies and fine men who are also holy.
So, stop looking outside. They are right there beside you.