THIS IS A REAL LIFE STORY… Please friends, come to the rescue, advise one of us who wrote this story of life.
‘I prayed like everyone else, even crying while doing so. Asking and weeping that God should just save my soul permanently from sin. I fell last night again, going back to the same twin sins that have been in my life for a long time now. Yesterday, I just finished praying, I entered my room, the devil visited and sin was conceived. And now, even while kneeling before God in prayer, flashes of the pleasures of sin still come to my mind. Pushing the thoughts aside, I prayed more, asking God for mercy and grace. During the rest of the day, I deliberately engaged myself in many activities, hoping to drown out the voice of sin, trying to force out the whispers of temptation and the thoughts of evil.
I know if I go back to sin, I will rise again and God will still forgive me, but I don’t want to fall perpetually, I don’t want to fail heaven and disappoint God every time. I don’t want to waste the gifts of God upon my life, I don’t want to repay the kindness of God with sins and evil works.
Looking at my life, it is only these two sins that have been there since my secondary school days. I curse the day I started them. I don’t lie, I obey all the other commandments of God easily but not these two. I tried many physical means, quitting some things, vowing all to no avail. Whenever the voice just come to me, ‘SIN’, do it; I just myself running into sin, I don’t even hear any voice of God telling me not to do it. This has made me conclude that maybe God has even given up on me.
And every time I fall, I still stand again when I see the emptiness that follows the sin of immorality. I feel as if I have no soul anymore, as if there is absolutely nothing within me. This emptiness tells me I have failed heaven once more. So I stand up, sober, regretting, sorry, I even attempt to weep and cry but the time is past. His tears have dried up, sin is becoming part of my life. The regret is reducing at every fall.
I fear I will continue like this till I grow old and die in sin. Just because I can’t say NO to sin, I can’t even deny my flesh.
Please, for all who know another thing I can do, HELP ME. SAVE ME. PLEASE.’